What if your child doesn't do what you tell him? This is a critical point, and how you handle it can make or break your discipline effectiveness early on. Elaine Gibson gives an outstanding strategy for gaining compliance that discusses different stages and approaches. To put it very simply, this is what you do:
1. Give one reminder. Say, What did I ask you to do? If your child responds correctly, say Good. Now do it. If she gives you that well-known blank stare, then get her full attention and tell her one more time, being very specific and firm.
2. Give one warning. Now is the time to tell the child what the consequence for non-compliance will be. For more resources and ideas on consequences see the Net Links below.
3. Notice when your child does what you asked and praise her.If she doesn't comply, implement the consequence immediately. Good consequences should be brief and related to the misbehavior.
Using Consequences Effectively
- Using Natural and Logical Consequences to Teach Your Child - Elaine Gibson at Southern Methodist University
- Mild Social Disapproval Principles - Dr. Tim Dunnigan
- Response Cost Principles - Dr. Tim Dunnigan
- Time-Out Principles - Dr. Tim Dunnigan
- Goodkids - Clifford Harrison
- Effective Consequences Part I and Part II - Elizabeth Crary at Parenting Press
- Nine Things to Do Instead of Spanking - Kathryn Kvols at Positive Parenting
- Using Consequences Wisely - Dr. Chuck Smith at Kansas State University
- Why Positive Reinforcement Works -Brenda Gargus at Family Education Network